Praying for Dwight

The smell of Spring

2010-03-13T13:47:00.007-06:00

There was as seamless moment etched into our hearts where we went from despair to hope. It was on a spring day last March following the hardest and longest week of our lives. A week so dark and so scary that we are forever changed. You cannot go back from facing the reality that you are losing a parent. You become a new version of yourself. The trouble with moving from despair to hope, is that often times you are so fixated on the hope you have so desperately been seeking that you never really re-enter the despair, to say goodbye and find closure.

They say that smell is one of the strongest triggers for memory. And as the spring air starts to blow into Chicago, I am almost taken aback by the return of memories I've wished to forget. As I awoke yesterday morning, I had a random, yet strong memory of walking down the long hall on the 9th floor ICU of Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Bringing friends and family to see my dad, reminding me of a living wake. The bright florescent lights, the medical staff avoiding eye contact with grieving and frightened family members, or even worse, giving you the look of sympathy, the smell of the antibacterial lotion and the sounds of the predictable beats on the machines and the sound of my dad's breathing machine, in . . . and out . . . in . . and out. In that moment early yesterday morning, I was overcome with my own fear again. Knowing cognitively that we have moved beyond the pain to the healing but also paying homage to my loss that week in March that still lives very deeply in my heart.

In this past year I have had friends who have lost parents. And I often feel some form of survivor's guilt. Why does my child get to have her grandpa and not my friends? Why do I get move back into the every day with my dad? Why do I get the luxury of forgetting?

I was listening to a Leonard Cohen song this morning that many of you may know, Hallelujah. And I love his description of Hallelujah.

"And it's not a cry that you hear at night. It's not somebody who's seen the light. It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah."

For me, it really sums up the feelings on the last year. A broken hallelujah. So thankful for God's healing and for our embracing community. And still so raw. As spring comes I'm reminded of new life and the chance of new life my dad has been given. Hallelujah.

-Barbara

Celebration

2009-06-02T11:59:00.003-05:00

Pentecost Sunday.
----

Holy Spirit
Rushing Wind
Present Among Us

---

Celebration. Intervention. Miracle.

---

This past Sunday my dad returned to church and shared a Word of Witness. He was honored by applause, hugs and prayer. We continue to be enveloped in love and kindness.

As Acts 2 was so beautifully read during the service, I felt some of the fear & pain lifted. As if driving away and looking at those days becoming smaller and smaller in my rear view mirror.

I remember so clearly the day that my dad's prognosis moved from critical to recovery.

Sunday was another memorable day of moving from recovery to celebration.

Praise God.

*Enjoy some photos of the celebration below. Thank you to Hal and Nathan for taking the photos.

-Barbara

Happy Anniversary

2009-05-30T07:26:00.002-05:00

Society and Hallmark make a big deal about certain anniversaries such as those ending with a five or ten.

Last year Dwight and I celebrated our 40th Wedding Anniversary. We had a quiet dinner and a movie...rather low key.

This year, however, on our 41st anniversary, we have a lot to celebrate!

A little over two months ago, the idea of our anniversary seemed to be in doubt. We really had to live our vows of "for better or worse" in a real way during those difficult days. God gave us the best gift we could ever have...each other!!!

Happy 41st Anniversary, Dwight!

Love,

Sue

Stormy Lake

2009-05-27T20:37:00.003-05:00

There are moments in grieving where the loss of a loved one comes in full force when you least expect it. It's not always on the anniversaries or birthdays but when you see something that reminds you of them or hear a song that reminds you of them. I'll never forget what my grandma would always say when I'd call her on my grandpa's birthday "Today is not any different than any other day, Barbara. Every day you miss the person you lost. You keep walking, you just walk with a limp."

And like grieving, our celebration comes in unexpected moments.

This weekend, the Cederberg and Nordlund families headed up to Stormy Lake for a weekend together. This is an annual tradition where my parents give us the cabin to celebrate the first weekend of summer.

Before we left to come back to Chicago, I was in my parent's room and opened my dad's closet and saw his shirts, his hats, his dvds that he's lovingly put together for special events. And I was overcome with joy. I was again reminded, in such a raw way, that my dad came out of horrible circumstance. This is a complex feeling because I know that other loved ones have not been as fortunate to have their parents survive difficult health issues.

Parents are knit into their children''s character through the years of caring for their children. But I also saw this weekend, how my dad is knit into Stormy Lake with his silly parking meters and yes, fake people.

You would think that every moment would be a reminder of this joy but if there is one thing I have learned through this process it's that my heart and my head don't always connect with one another. My head knows of the amazing healing that has been given to my dad's body but my heart remains protected, slowly unfolding the relief and joy.

***

This coming Sunday, May 31st, my dad will be sharing his story during the 10:30 worship service at their home church, Winnekta Covenant, and you are welcome to join us if you'd like.

***

Many of you continue to ask how my dad is doing. Thank you for your continued interest and support.

To paint the picture, my mom and dad's week events have included:

a trip to New Buffalo, Michigan to celebrate an anniversary with friends

water areobics at Galter Life Center

a trip to Milwaukke to see a Brewers game and a dinner at their favorite German restaurant

a visit to Gurnee to see my sister and my niece Klara

(and many other things I'm sure)

Two months ago to date, we sat with the reality that my dad may never wake up.

God's graces are bigger than we could ever imagine and "is sufficient for me".

-Barbara

2009-05-14T14:21:00.002-05:00

Check out a headline on the front page of the Covenant website by clicking here : )

If you are visiting our blog from the Covenant website, feel free to read archived entries by scrolling down on the right column and clicking on March.

M.I.A.

2009-05-12T12:22:00.001-05:00

My dad just finished the scope and the ulcer is gone.

Praise God!

Tuesday

2009-05-12T08:51:00.002-05:00

This morning my dad will be having a scope to see if the ulcer has healed. Please send your prayers as this is something that will hopefully be giving this family positive results and a huge sigh of relief.

-Barbara

Sandwich.

2009-05-10T19:19:00.003-05:00

I'd like to think that I'm too young to be in the "sandwich generation" but often times during the critical days and weeks of my dad's illness, I felt like I needed to be both a mother to my daughter and a daughter to my mother.

There were the quiet and private moments where I would just come home from a day at the hospital and weep. For my fear to hope and my sense of feeling defeated and overwhelmed.

You learn a lot about people in times of crisis. You see both best and worst moments surrounded while on the roller coaster. I'll never forget March 25th. It was the night following the news of my dad's eeg report. Nathan, Sanne and I stayed at the hotel with my mom that night. We left the hospital like zombies, feeling like one foot was in total devestation. That night,we had conversation that I never want to have to face again thinking about the reality of my dad's prognosis. We dug into the deepest parts of our hearts.

And as I sat at that corner booth, facing my mom, I looked at her in a way I never had before. As a wife. As someone who loved her husband with the whole of her heart. I saw that heart breaking. Thinking of what could be her future and loving my dad so much . . . for the little and the big things that make a marriage.

Today is mother's day and I think of my mom today. In words I'm only ready to put down in writing but don't have the strength to say aloud. My mother, during this time of total fear, was

authentic

kind

gracious

faithful

nurturing

scared

and living out her wedding vows with her heart

I am turning thirty this year and a little over two years ago became a mother myself. During this time I have learned much more about my mom through my own experiences. Relating on a different level. Starting to uncover the sacrifices she made to keep me happy and healthy.

My dad is incredibly strong, motivated, faithful, loving. But today, I celebrate my mom. Who has stood by my dad's side. A true testament to me.

Love you, Mom.

- Barbara

Paying it forward

2009-05-09T20:50:00.002-05:00

Getting in the car in the early morning . . . grabbing some coffee and setting up to greet friends and family in support of my dad . . .

It felt a lot like our time in the ICU but with celebration rather than fear. Thank you to all who came today to donate their time, their blood, their baked goods, their well wishes and hugs. We left church this afternon feeling filled with your kindness and reminded of your incredible support.

Please enjoy the little photo show below.

Blood Drive Tomorrow!

2009-05-08T16:57:00.001-05:00

There's still time to sign up if you're interested. We've, unfortunately, had quite a few cancellations in the last few days so there are many slots available.

Thanks!

Updates

2009-05-06T10:56:00.002-05:00

This week has been a busy one for my dad with rehab and tests. He had an ultrasound at NMH yesterday and the results are fine. They believe he had a gall stone which was causing the levels to heighten. He will meet in June to find out more about their findings on his fatty liver.

Next Tuesday is his upperendoscopy that will tell us more about the healing of his ulcer. Please say some prayers for this. My dad had a bad experience during the last scope so I also ask for prayers that he doesn't feel anxiety going into this procedure.

Also, if you are still interested in signing up for the blood drive we still have slots we need to fill. You can either sign up by following the instructions on the right hand side of the blog or you can email me at barbaranordlund@gmail.com and I can help you sign up.

Thanks!
Barbara

Milestone

2009-05-01T18:39:00.003-05:00

Today was my dad's last day with the home health nurse and physical therapist. He works out each day at Galter now with a new physical therapist who is part of the rehabilitation department. I think my dad really enjoys this because it's a way for him to be able to continue to stretch himself and regain strength.

One of many things I've learned about my dad through this whole experience is his drive. I've always known that my dad has determination but these are far greater obstacles and he has gone through each one while already stretching for the next goal. I truly believe that this was part of the reason he was able to get through such trauma. As his family, this characteristic is such a gift to us because with each day he continues to improve.

- Barbara

Friday

2009-05-01T15:22:00.003-05:00

Northwestern received my dad's blood results today and they found that his liver enzymes are very high. They will be doing an ultrasound on Tuesday morning to look into it further.

I have to be completely honest here, thinking about this makes me weak. It brings things flooding back to the surface . . . the panic, the unknown. And while I cognitively know that we are not sitting in the ICU waiting room, just the thought of a potential speed bump or road block in the recovery makes me feel like I'm right back there.

Please pray for:
Positive results
The enzyme levels to come down
Good communication to us from the medical staff

On a positive note my dad feels really good. Getting better each day in terms of strength and energy. His bedsore has healed which now allows him to sit in chairs and not only have the option of lying on the couch. This does wonders for mental health, I'm sure.

Thanks for your continued support and prayer.

-Barbara

To walk along side

2009-04-29T09:14:00.003-05:00

I've recently learned that there are some phrases that we use in church culture that may be unique to this culture. It reminds me of meeting Nathan (who is from Oregon) and realizing that some things are just unique to the Midwest . . . who knew that not everyone knows not to take a shower during a thunderstorm?!

Recently someone questioned what "walking along side" really means. I didn't even realize that it may seem like a strange phrase. It's one I love though because it's a great visual image of support, of "meeting someone where they are at" and then being along side them as they process something, be it joyous or difficult.

Yesterday my dad had a really great day. He felt less fatigued and optimistic. His friend/neighbor and a member of their church, Dave, popped by and my dad walked around the block with him two times (and said he could have done even more)! I love this because it is both figuratively and literally a living out of the term "walking along side".

Last night we headed to my parents house and enjoyed pizza together. My dad was showing Sanne some of his physical therapy exercises and my dad and Sanne began to walk on their toes together. Again, a visual image.

My dad went in yesterday for a check-up with the endocrinologist at Northwestern. What a vast difference for him from last time he was there. My mom and dad went out to lunch, then walked over to the doctor. Something that 6 weeks ago was no big deal, 5 weeks ago was unimaginable . . . now is such a blessing to this family.

He will have another scope in two weeks so the doctors can get another look at the ulcer and see how it's healing. Please say prayers for us as we await these results.

Thank you for your continued "walking along side" us . . .whether it's prayers, cards, meals, phone calls, signing up for the blood drive, visits, etc . . . we are so thankful for your presence on our journey. Along with God's unfailing love and grace, your support gives us our endurance to continue.

-Barbara

Speak to Me

2009-04-25T10:05:00.003-05:00

I recently began reading a book called "Called to Be Human - Letters to my children on living a Christian life" by Michael Jinkins, a theologian and Presbyterian minister.

He was writing to his daughter, now an adult, about the night before her open heart surgery, when she was seven years old. In recent weeks I have thought about my faith through this journey and my one foot in hope, one in despair. The following excerpt spoke to what I have been feeling. "The spirit rejoices in hearing what it already knows"

From Called to Be Human -

"You had gotten ready for bed that night, and I was preparing to curl up on the cot the nurses had brought into your room for me to sleep on. I invited you to join me for my evening prayers before going to sleep. You prayed with me and had been quietly listening as I prayed from the Book of Common Prayer a prayer titled 'For Those We Love.' The prayer goes like this: 'Almighty God, we entrust all who are dear to us to thy never-failing care and love, for this life and the life to come; knowing that thou art doing for them better things than we can desire or pray for; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen'

As soon as I finished this prayer, you reached over and squeezed my hand, and asked me, 'Daddy, were you putting me in God's hands?'

I could hardly answer you for the knot in my throat. But I struggled to say, 'Yes. Tomorrow when the doctors take you into surgery, I am entrusting you to God who loves you even more than I do (though I can't imagine how that's possible!). I trust God will do better things for you than I can desire or pray for.'

I didn't know where the road would lead. I could not visualize what it would mean twenty-four hours later to stand next to you in the intensive care unit with you hooked up to a respirator and monitors and IVs and all sorts of other terrifying machines. I certainly couldn't imagine what it would mean to see you gradually return to health and eventually to possess healthy you had never known before. I just hoped, and the hope became a sort of solid trust, and the trust felt more like I was held than like something I was holding. It surely didn't feel like I knew for certain where the road would end. I didn't. I just trusted the One who walked with us. And I know - I know! - I didn't give myself that faith. Faith was given to me in a moment when I'm not sure I could have taken two more steps on my own."

I love that line "the trust felt more like I was held than like something I was holding." There is comfort for me in that "letting go".

-Barbara

Boot Camp

2009-04-24T09:19:00.003-05:00

Heard a report from my mom yesterday that my dad did 10 push ups during his time with his physical therapist. Not even sure I could do 10 push ups . . .

On Tuesday my dad will head back to Northwestern to have a consultation regarding his ulcer. The hope is that it has been healing on it's own and that surgery will not be necessary. Please continue to pray that this is the case.

-Barbara

Update

2009-04-21T12:52:00.002-05:00

Many of you have been asking how my dad is doing . . . thank you for your continued support and concern!

I have realized through your questions that we may not be doing a great job of expressing how my dad is doing now that he is home and recovering. I'll do my best to paint a picture of the extent of miraculous leaps he's been showing.

Let this not only be a list of prayer requests but prayers answered:

My dad has regained his appetite

Is sleeping mostly through the night with brief wake ups

His bed sore is healing and it is getting easier and easier to sit

He's able to walk down the block at a normal pace

My dad does not remember being in the emergency room or in ICU but his long-term and short-term memory are totally normal

He is continuing to adjust to the loss of vision in his left eye

He continues to be fatigued but is up and doing normal tasks more and more

He takes small car trips with my mom to run errands

And here are some true tell signs that he's on the mend:

He edited my niece's birthday video by putting it from camcorder to dvd

He's vacuuming (a sickness I've received from him)

Hope this helps you get a better sense of the incredible gift we've received.

-Barbara

May 9th

2009-04-20T12:51:00.002-05:00

Thank you to all who have already signed up for the blood drive! No pressure to sign up if you're not interested we totally understand.

We do need to have a certain amount of donors to host the drive so to those of you who have said you're going to sign up, we just ask that you do so soon so that we are able to report these numbers to Lifesource.

Again, if you have any trouble signing up, please don't hesitate to email me: barbaranordlund@gmail.com

Thanks again!

Welcome Sign

2009-04-19T15:40:00.005-05:00

Prior to my dad's illness, every time we came to my parents' home and rang their door bell we could almost guarantee that my dad will be the one to answer the door and with total enhusiam shout "Sanne!". (Sanne always feel so special at their home).

Since my dad's illness I have often thought of these times. When he was in his coma, that memory seemed miles away. In the last week, I've secretly hoped that my dad would be at the door but he has often times been exhausted and on the couch or in bed.

But today, as we came back from church and came in the house, I could hear him near the kitchen (where we enter the house), when the same enthusiam he once had. I can just tell that we're so close to recovery : )

Thanks!
-Barbara

1 month ago

2009-04-18T09:06:00.002-05:00

It has been 1 month since my dad was sent by ambulance to the emergency room. I still remember the call. I did not think that he would be in there for a long time. I did not know that God would use him like he did. I am just amazed what God did. I am amazed of what you did: Prayers, calls ,cards and emails. This would not be possible without you and with out God. Mark and I are bringing Swedish pancakes this morning.We are so glad that we can do this after all that has happenend. Every time I look at my dad I am so amazed in what God, prayers and hope can do. Thank you. Christine

Housekeeping

2009-04-17T10:50:00.001-05:00

Some of you have mentioned that you've had difficulty signing up online for the blood drive.

The easiest way may just be to email me at: barbaranordlund@gmail.com with:
your full first and last name
zipcode
and an approximate time you'd like to sign up for and I can take care of it.

Thanks!

No Doubt

2009-04-16T17:07:00.001-05:00

There are times when you feel like you can't go on
There are times when you feel like giving in
And there are times when you feel like you can't try anymore
There are times of trouble in believing
This test of your faith will last
As long as it takes to pass
Till you have no more doubt you'll endure
And your faith will emerge true and pure

(Chorus)
No doubt it'll be alright
With God it'll work together for good
No doubt in the end it will be understood
No doubt it'll all work out
With faith He can move any mountain for us
No doubt in the power of Jesus
And after all is done we find out
All we really need to have is no doubt

There's a time to take a reckless leap of faith
There's a time to be cautious and to wait
And there's a way of learning from the past
That this time of trouble won't last
And sometimes we want to think we know
The ways He will choose to make us grow
But it's never the way of our choosing
And we can't always see what He's using

There will be winters in the seasons of our soul
With a cold and bitter wind that chills our lives
But our faith can be building a fire
That will warm us till springtime arrives

By Petra

submitted by Christine

30K

2009-04-16T14:40:00.001-05:00

While I know you can't quantify prayer, it sure does feel good to see that counter at 30,000 knowing that my dad and my family are being surrounded in support and prayer.

Keep it coming!

-Barbara

2009-04-15T13:04:00.003-05:00

Blood Drive

Held in Honor of Dwight Samuelson

hosted by Winnetka Covenant Church

Saturday, May 9, 2009

9am-3pm

1200 Hibbard Road, Wilmette, IL

Upper Room

To make an appointment

please log on to www.lsbrighten.org

create a new donor account and use sponsor code 195B

If you would prefer to call or have any questions,

please contact Barbara Nordlund at

barbaranordlund@gmail.com

or 773-801-9544

“If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another.” -Dalai Lama

2009-04-13T16:45:00.005-05:00

There have been many graces given to our family in the past month. From tangible support of food, childcare and calls to spiritual support and medical support. As I have reflected in previous posts, it can be difficult to sift through something cognitively that feels so much bigger than us and is so much bigger than us.

So we move into action. On March 21st when my dad was taken to Northwestern Memorial Hospital he was given 40 units of blood. This is eight times your body's volume. Our family friend Dr. Peterson, took Nathan, my mom and I on a tour of the pathology floor, where she works and showed us the blood bank. Seeing the blood bank was one of the many times in the last month where I have felt like my heart made an obvious connection from love to action.

Random strangers, in random locations, at random times provided the blood that kept my dad alive and now flows in his body. An altruistic gift that continues to give to our family. Amazing.

On Saturday, May 9th from 9AM to 3PM, Winnetka Covenant Church will be hosting a blood drive facilitated by Life Source. This blood drive will honor not only my dad but those who come after him in similar need. Our goal is to have 40 units of blood donated on this day.

Will you join us?

In the coming days, I will post detailed information on how you can sign up to donate. If you don't feel internet savvy, you are welcome to email me at barbaranordlund@gmail.com or call me at 773.801.9544 and I would be happy to help you to sign up.

We hope that my dad will be able to attend this event but either way our family will be there to thank you in person for the tremendous amount of love and support you have shown us.

For a link to the Life Source website that provides a list of qualifications to be able to donate blood. Click here.

-Barbara

Therapy

2009-04-12T19:37:00.004-05:00

One suggestion made by my dad's physical therapist was that my dad exercise his lungs by blowing bubbles. This seemed like the perfect activity for both Sanne and Tokig. So we had a pre-Easter dinner trip to the backyard. So fun.

-Barbara

Easter Sunday

2009-04-12T15:55:00.010-05:00

Nathan and I went to our church this morning before heading to my parent's house to enjoy Easter Sunday together. I appreciated the Easter benediction during the church service today given not only the spirit of our celebration in the Christian church today but also the journey we are going through.

I have felt so out of my "life routine". I work at our church and on Thursday, I found myself calling our Pastor for a work-related question only to realize half way through the voicemail that it was Maundy Thursday and he was in the worship service. How does a church employee forget that it's Holy Week? In many ways I felt unprepared for Easter today, having mentally missed half of Lent. But on the other hand, I feel like I have been blessed with a heightened awareness of what the valleys are like. My hallelujahs today were strong.

Now to Him who by the power at work within
us is able to do far more abundantly than all that
we ask or think, to Him be glory in the Church
and in Christ Jesus to all generations,

for ever and ever. Amen.

from Ephesians 3:20-21

My dad continues to improve with each day. He is sleeping more and eating more. He is in a groove with taking his medication and monitoring his blood sugar. Many of you have asked what the status is with his ulcer. He is taking medication and following a strict diet. He will have a follow up appointment at the end of April that will give the doctors an idea of the extent of healing. It is our hope that they will not have to perform surgery but will continue with the current treatment.

My dad hopes to continue to gain energy this week so that he will be ready for visitors in the near future. We will certainly keep you posted as he looks forward to seeing friends soon.

To those who celebrate, Happy Easter to you!

-Barbara

Dance Friday

2009-04-10T07:33:00.003-05:00

Our local NBC station has a "dance Friday" segment each Friday morning where they show their staff and people around Chicago dancing. A few months back my dad was quite the star . . . soaking in his 15 seconds of fame with his dance moves. Today marked the 1 year anniversary of the segment and my dad was one of the stars. Enjoy the video by clicking here.

Hopefully my dad will be using these dance moves in the near future!

-Barbara

Housekeeping

2009-04-09T17:33:00.003-05:00

Thank you to everyone who has inquired about visiting now that my dad is at home. My parents are very excited to fellowship with friends and hope that my dad will be up for it in the near future.

Right now, my dad is quite weak and spends much of the day sleeping. We'll definitely let everyone know when he's up to having some time with friends. This is something that continues to motivate my dad and we look forward to that happening in the near future.

Many of you have asked us what the best way is to communicate with the family at this time. While the phone seems to be off the hook, we love emails and comments on the blog as a way to hear your well wishes. Your thoughts and prayers are such an encouragement to us!

-Barbara

Endure

2009-04-09T13:33:00.003-05:00

For the past few weeks, we have danced with hope and desperation. It has not always been graceful but it has been authentic.

We are so hopeful and so thankful for my dad's miraculous recovery thus far. I watched him last night as he lay on his couch watching the Cubs game and talking to his brother on the phone. I thought of two weeks before, in a state of total heartbreak, fear and sadness as my mom, Nathan and I sit in the quiet corner of a downtown restaurant talking about things so devastating that my heart can't even speak them again. Our heart's cry was for my dad to come home. And here we sit with him in his home with an answer far greater than our request.

What do you do with an answered dream? How do you let your heart fully sing praises? A strange place to be when these dreams are so quickly answered with incredible grace. To be so assured of God's presence & provision through medical intervention and the "walking along side" of our community is a life changing experience.

But it is a journey and test of endurance on mind, spirit and body. My dad continues to struggle with incredible fatigue, lack of appetite and attempting to digest all that has happened. My mom shares these struggles as she has truly, truly walked along side of him during these past few weeks. Please pray for each day to create more healing.

-Barbara

Sleeping, Eating and Eyesight

2009-04-08T21:00:00.003-05:00

My dad is having a hard time sleeping and eating. His blood pressure was low today because he does not feel like eating. He ate more for dinner after his own doctor told him this is very important to do. I also ask to pray for his eye sight. The doctors said that there is a slight, slight chance for his left eye to see again. We have heard the doctor's slim prospects these past two weeks. Look what God did before and can still do!!

My mom wanted me to re-post Mark's comment from the other day:

I'm praying that God is NOT DONE YET. Compared to what we were praying for two weeks ago and even one week ago, this is discouraging but not hopeless. Our God is SO AMAZING that our shallow human minds cannot grasp what He is capable of. To all who read this: THE GAME IS NOT OVER YET. Please pray. I know it is tough and at times exhausting. We want to go back to our normal, comfortable lives and not be bothered. But, God wants us to pray and really, I mean REALLY trust and believe in Him. God could have taken Dwight away, but He did not. Dwight is optimistic. Lets join in his optimism and thank God for all He has done thus far. And then, let's ask for Him to do even more. Don't worry, GOD CAN HANDLE IT!

Also, as Davida said:

Let's pray for another miracle...for Dwight's vision in his left eye to improve. You never know....it might happen with the power of all of our prayers.

- Christine and Mark

Family Prayer

2009-04-07T19:58:00.005-05:00

Thank you God for happy hearts,

for rain and sunny weather.

Thank you for this food we eat

and that we are together.

Amen.

This is the prayer we said each night as a family when I was growing up and tonight we said it again at my parent's house before our meal with tears of joy in our eyes.

God is good.

-Barbara

!

2009-04-07T13:50:00.002-05:00

Guess who (by doctor's recommendation) is skipping rehab all together and going home today?!

My rock star dad, that's who.

-Barbara

First Responders

2009-04-07T10:26:00.004-05:00

I always wonder what I would do if I were in an emergency situation. Would I freeze? Would I remember my CPR classes? Would I act quickly?

We feel certain that the success of my dad's miraculous recovery has certainly been because of prayer and God's provision but it has also been because of many people who acted quickly, thoroughly and courageously.

The first responders were at NBC where my dad fainted. As I read Adriana's account of what happened that morning, I am in awe of her and others' ability to respond so quickly. To say we are thankful is an understatement. They were the first players in saving my dad's life.

This past Saturday, the human resources department at NBC treated this fantastic team to breakfast and shared the news that they will be purchasing a defibrillator and will train employees on how to use it.

I love the ripple effect that is happening through this situation.

-Barbara

Below is a photo of several of the first responders:

Alex Zigic, Laura Meehan, Anita Selvaggio and Adriana Correa, Carl Hickman (not pictured). Therese Hoeslie (right) is a fellow supervisor, that was there Saturday editing in place of Dwight.

Monday PM

2009-04-06T18:06:00.004-05:00

We just received word that my dad's left eye has lost permanent vision due to a disorder called posterior ischemic optic neuropathy. My basic understanding is that this was damage to the optic nerve due to lack of blood supply during my dad's first night in the intensive care unit.

My dad feels incredibly optimistic about this because he is focusing on the amazing progress he has made given the incredible obstacles his body has faced. I think for close family surrounding him, it's more difficult news.

We all remain incredibly grateful but exhausted. And this unexpected hurdle today has been difficult for us.

My dad's right eye looks to be fine and it sounds like the long term effects will be his right eye compensating for lack of vision in his left.

Prayer Requests:

More sleep for my mom and dad who continue to have sleepovers at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.

For our family as we let this discouraging news sink in.

For my dad to be able to be transferred to the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago shortly. (we are waiting for a bed, as far as NMH is concerned, he's ready to be released).

For our spirits as we process the incredible trauma we have faced over the past few weeks.

One of our big dreams right now is to be able to have my dad home for Easter so that we are able to gather around my parent's dinner table. While that may not be a prayer request, it is a hope in our hearts right now.

-Barbara

Dwight's Eyesight and Eating

2009-04-06T09:59:00.005-05:00

Dwight said he got more sleep last nite and that is good! However, he said that his eyesight in one of his eyes was getting hazy yesterday (he didn't tell anyone yesterday) and now it has gone completely black. He mentioned it to the medical staff this morning and they are going to have an eye doctor see him either at the hospital or the rehab center (where he is supposed to be moved to today).

There have been so many positive and amazing steps forward and I pray that this is just a little bump on Dwight's road to recovery. Dwight said that his own doctor (Sid) told him that he might have a little problem with his eyesight. We think this might be from his diabetes more than anything else. His eating has been very sporadic since he came out of the coma. His weight was down to 201 pounds yesterday, some 30 pounds lighter than when he arrived. Dwight's body needs the food and natural sugars to heal and recover. He's been a little stubborn about not eating much. Please pray that his appetite increases and that he starts eating better. Pray, too, for his eyesight.

Prayer works. I know I believe. I ask that we all come back to God and ask for His continued mercy on Dwight and on each one of us. From the entire family, our heartfelt thanks for all of your prayers thus far and for those to come!

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. - 1 Peter 5:7

- Mark (banker son-in-law)

Day in pictures.

2009-04-04T21:19:00.004-05:00

I finally remembered to bring my camera to take some photos of our time together at the hospital. We have had opposite schedules from Christine, Mark and Klara these days so my apologies for only having photos of Tokig and Sanne.

My dad continues to show us his amazing strength and courage. Hoping he will move to the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago in the coming days. We are so proud of him!

The doctor is in

View from the room.

Where is it written?

2009-04-04T08:35:00.005-05:00

I remember a conversation that occurred during one of the many summers I spent at Covenant Point Bible Camp. A staff member said that the Covenant denomination does not have doctrine but is founded on two simple questions: Where is it written? (scripture) and How goes it with your walk? (relationship with God) Whether or not it is accurate to put the denomination in such a small nutshell, these two questions have guided me as I weave through the grayness that life can bring.

Many of you have sent Bible verses, prayers and poetry to us as a form of comfort and a reminder of God's prevailing love.

During this journey so far, I have found myself at the core . . . wanting basic needs. My dad to live, my body to sleep, my body to eat. And there is something so beautiful about being at this core because, for me, it gives me a heightened awareness of what is truly important. In the Time magazine article (that I posted recently) the author hypothesized as to a biological explanation of why we may have a heightened awareness during fasting. And while I'm sure there is merit in the biological explanation, I tend to move toward the spiritual.

If you have any stories to share of answering the questions: Where is it written? or How goes it with your walk? during your time of prayer and support for my dad we would love for you to share it. It would be a comfort to crack open our Bibles and see where God was speaking to others during this tragic turned miraculous event.

-Barbara

HE'S WALKING!!!

2009-04-03T13:25:00.002-05:00

This is Mark. I visited Dwight at lunch today and he was beginning his daily rehab session with a nurse. Dwight asked if I would stay while Sue, Christine and the Piros went for lunch. The nurse said he was doing great in the initial exercises. Then came the big test: standing him upright. The first time Dwight stood up, but we were helping him keep his balance. After a quick rest, Dwight stood up again, this time with better balance. Then the nurse asked if he could take a few steps. The next thing you know, we're out of the room and in the hallway walking towards the next room! The nurse asked Dwight to sit and rest (I was following Dwight with a chair from behind). The nurse asked if Dwight was tired. He said, "No. Are you?" To which the nurse replied, "Actually, yes." We all smiled and then Dwight walked back to the room (with the nurse keeping him balanced from the front and me with a chair following him from behind)! At the end, the nurse said she had never seen someone who needed a lift to get out of bed the day before be able to walk the next day, let alone as much as Dwight walked! GOD IS CONTINUING TO SHOW US A MIRACLE! I told Dwight that he's the one in the hospital needing to get well, but I always leave feeling like I was made more well being in his presence. I'm so proud of my father-in-law and feel extremely blessed to have him in my life!

Zzzzzz

2009-04-03T10:11:00.003-05:00

My dad has had difficulty sleeping for the past few nights.

In some ways it's such a joy to say that because just a week ago I was praying frantically for him to wake up. We ask that you please pray that he will be able to quiet his mind and body to get a good night's sleep tonight. My dad did say that he wanted to watch the Cubs/Yankees game tonight so I suppose if you want to get specific you could pray that he sleep after the game (insert sarcasm).

Please also pray that my mom sleeps well too. My mom and dad had a sleepover in room 1326 last night and like most sleepovers, both my mom and dad are exhausted today from being awake all night.

-Barbara

The biology of belief

2009-04-02T15:02:00.003-05:00

It has been an interesting walk between belief and biology these past weeks as we have witnessed both the incredible intervention of God and medicine to heal my dad. Nathan and I always seem to be behind on reading Time Magazine but yesterday I pulled one out of our magazine rack to find this on the cover:

I felt like it was timely and wanted to share the link to the article in it's entirety. To read the article click here.

Food for thought.

-Barbara

Results and Modern Miracle

2009-04-02T11:11:00.005-05:00

This morning Dwight had a repeat endoscopy. They also took a biopsy of the ulcer. They are looking at the ulcer to determine whether it has changed and if there is any bleeding. We have not heard the report from the doctor yet, but he is doing well. He is very anxious to begin physical therapy since he can't manuver on his own. Please continue to pray for positive progress and good reports. He needs to be able to stand and walk.
The doctors will decide whether he will continue with medication or will need the ulcer removed surgically.
Dwight continues to joke with the nurses and doctors, so he may be released from the hospital earlier than normal.
One of the doctors who was just in here said that she was honored to be part of this medical team since his story has traveled around the hospital. She called it a MIRACLE as so many of the nurses and doctors have said. They said that they did all they could during that critical Saturday and then faith had to take over. What a miracle!!! Sue

A prayer needed

2009-04-01T20:06:00.002-05:00

I was on the phone and heard the call waiting. Normally I look to see who is calling and for some reason I just clicked over to hear a soft voice saying Christine. I did not know who it was. The voice was soft and seemed far away. I realized it was my dad calling me. Wow. My dad is calling me. I still can't believe it. He told me that he is going to have another scope tomorrow to see how the ulcer is. Fear crept into my mind. I am scared because this happened 11 days ago and the news was not good. Can you pray that the ulcer is fine and the results come out in our favor. The good thing is that they don't see his blood levels dropping or blood in the urine or stool. But just keep praying that everything will be okay. Please pray like you did before. Pray hard and a lot. God does need to hear from you. WE KNOW GOD DOES LISTEN!! Christine

1326

2009-04-01T19:25:00.005-05:00

My dad has been moved from ICU to a regular hospital room; room 1326 of the Feinberg building at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.

It is so incredible to be in this reality. Just a week ago (although I have to admit, it's felt like one really, really long day) we were faced with very difficult predictions of my dad's neurological capability based on the results of an EEG. And now my dad's chief complaint? He's bored.

There have been many tears this week of relief and joy. Although I don't really know when or if my brain will fully comprehend this miraculous outcome. Right now I'm just going to ride it. To bask in the love and support we feel and to have our wishes of having my dad come back to us. It's not profound or enlightening but it is a gift to just be present in something wonderful. I am grateful for this.

Prayer Requests:

That my dad is able to sleep during the night in the hospital room.

For the rehabilitation staff and my dad as they work together to strengthen his legs and arms.

For a freedom from boredom. Seriously. My dad is a go-getter and it's a test of will to be sedentary for so long.

-Barbara

April Fool

2009-04-01T09:52:00.002-05:00

I don't know about you but I have often felt like the April Fool growing up with my dad.

He's always one for practical jokes and I was always one to be gullible. In honor of April Fool's Day I thought it could be fun if you would be willing to share some practical jokes my dad has played on you (you can do this through the comment option). My dad is now able to read the blog so I'm sure he'd appreciate your stories . . . hoping it won't give him any ideas for today : )

My dad is up and eating breakfast this morning. He will be transferred out of ICU into a regular room today. We look forward to being able to bring his grandchildren for a visit this week (they weren't allowed in the ICU). Yesterday when I got in the car to go to work, Sanne exclaimed "I want Tokig!" I am so happy to answer her by saying "You'll be able to give him a hug this week."

-Barbara

Classic.

2009-03-31T15:20:00.004-05:00

My dad is now just on oxygen through his nose. I think we all knew that he would wake up in time for April Fool's Day.

When a doctor came in to give my dad an idea of his treatment plan (to go down to a regular room tomorrow then to a rehab facility and then home for OT/PT) . . . my dad suggested he just go straight to rehab and jokingly asked for a second opinion.

After finding out that his wedding ring was cut off due to swelling he asked to borrow my brother-in-law Mark's. After trying it on but it being too small he turns to Mark and says "if it doesn't fit we must acquit".

When his good friend Hal walked into the room my dad smiles at him and says "do I look handsome?!"

I now feel like I can take a deep breath. Thank you, Jesus.
-Barbara

Thank you God

2009-03-31T15:06:00.002-05:00

I was in the room when they were talking about possibly taking out his vent. My dad's eyes got really big. I did not know if it would happen. It did. No more breathing tube. WHAT A MIRACLE!!!!!! He is talking, laughing, and giving the doctors and nurses a hard time. Thank you for your support and prayers. Don't stop praying not only for my dad as he recovers, but for others and yourself. christine

2009-03-31T14:47:00.001-05:00

My dad says "thank you for your prayers!"

Deep breath

2009-03-31T11:50:00.000-05:00

They took my dad's tube out!! He's breathing on his own but has an oxygen mask right now that they'll slowly ween off.

Praise God!

-Barbara

Housekeeping

2009-03-31T11:27:00.001-05:00

I've added more photos to the slide show and you can enlarge the photos by clicking on the slide show. If you have any photos you'd like to add of yourself and my dad feel free to email them to me and I'll post them as well: barbaranordlund@gmail.com

I'm at work this morning but from what I've heard, it sounds like my dad has had a good morning. He is breathing on his own right now for a few hours to determine if he's ready to have the breathing tube taken out. Will keep you posted.

-Barbara

Be Patient

2009-03-30T22:40:00.003-05:00

Hi everyone. Thank you for your prayers right now. We are still waiting for his vent. to come out. We so badly want it to be out so he can relax and talk. I know that God wants him to rest and heal. We all know that my dad is restless and can't sit still. This is the only way God can have is body relax by him still being on sedation and his vent. God also wants us to be patient. He wants us to still think of him and pray. Yes, God can do miracles. MY DAD IS THE A GOOD EXAMPLE. HE DID PERFORM A MIRACLE. GOD IS TEACHING US ALL A LESSON. Each lesson is different for all of us. I know I was taught a lot of lessons through this. Listen to God as HE is speaking to you. I have no idea what he is saying to you. But if you listen you will really learn something from this. HE used my dad to either help you be closer to God, pray more, lean on him because he does listen and perform miracles. No he will not give you the winning lottery ticket number. You are on you own for that one. God is also teaching you to be patient and understand that if you keep praying and believing in Him he will listen and guide you. Just be patient and He is listening. You might not get it right away but keep praying he will answer your prayers when he knows that you are ready. Just like we are praying for my dad's vent. to come off. God knows that his body is not ready and my dad is not ready. So, be patient, keep praying, and just trust in God. Also, keep praying for my dad to heal and come off the vent. and to talk to us. Also keep praying for his ulcer that it does not grow and cause problems for him. Keep praying that his tests come back with good results and the doctors and nurses that are watching him. I know, be patient. Pray for yourself and others. Christine

Monday

2009-03-30T14:16:00.006-05:00

We've had a good day here at Northwestern. My dad continues to improve each day. Right now as I sit in his hospital room, he is smiling and his eyes are bright as Pastor Nelson talks with him. We are truly in the midst of a miracle.

Prayer Requests:
Please continue to pray for healing.

For fluid to leave his lungs.

For his ability to breathe on his own so that he can get off the ventilator.

For the continued wisdom and patience of the doctors and nurses.

For my mom tonight, as she goes home for the first time.

-Barbara

Dinner n' Drive with Sue: Sold Out

2009-03-29T20:56:00.002-05:00

Thank you everyone, Dinner n' Drive with Sue is officially sold out!

Your willingness to help out in this way is much appreciated and we know Sue is looking forward to your company.

- Nathan

Sam.

2009-03-29T17:38:00.005-05:00

As many of you know, my dad worked at NBC for forty years as a camera man and news editor. My dad retired in the summer of 2007 and six months later was asked to come back as a daily hire. It is an understatement to say that my dad loves NBC.

His dedication and love for his job is such an example. Even last Saturday when my dad felt totally awful and weak, he went to work. And after he fainted and came to, after the ambulance was called, he told is co-worker that he was just going to finish his story.

My dad has met many amazing people and has always been generous by providing studio tours to friends and family and even getting us the occasional autograph.

The NBC family has shown our family so much love and care this past week through visits, prayers, groceries, and offers to stay at their homes. We are so grateful to them and also know that their love for my dad has much to do with my dad's love for them. It is definitely reciprocated. My dad went by "Sam" at work and may of his co-workers don't even know him by his first name. There were many times during my childhood when someone would call for Sam and it took me a few seconds to realize it wasn't the wrong number.

Below is a video of Saturday's morning newscast. This is right after the news spread that my dad woke up.

-Barbara

Dinner n' Drive with Sue

2009-03-29T13:54:00.005-05:00

So many have generously asked us how you can help. As we start to think about heading back to work tomorrow we are seeking balance between where our heart wants to be (here at the hospital) and where our lives call us (work and caring for our little girls).

My mom is leaving the hotel tomorrow afternoon and will return home for the first time since leaving for the ER last Saturday, tomorrow night. Mark has kindly offered to drive my mom to the hospital each morning but we are wondering if anyone is willing to come to the hopsital to eat dinner with my mom and drive her home.

We are sharing shifts during the AM and PM with family but it would be a great help if someone would take a "dinner and drive home" shift :) We need a dinner partner for tonight (Sunday) and a "dinner and drive" for Monday through Thursday of this week.

If you're up for it, please leave a comment or give my mom a call for a day that you'd like to come 312/720.0296

AM

2009-03-29T08:44:00.007-05:00

As we walked in today to my dad's room I was overjoyed with the comfirmation that my dad is here. I could tell by his facial expressions and desire to communicate with us through nods, smiling and hand squeezes that he is lucid and aware of who we are. What a gift . . . to know without a doubt that my dad is healing.

Prayer Requests:

That my dad is able to focus on deep breaths and remain calm.

That they do not find any complications with his lungs and that his lungs heal completely so that they are able to take him off the ventilator.

Wisdom for our family as we discern how to talk with my dad and how to be a calm and a soothing coach for my dad.

For total healing of his ulcer.

** Please know that if you visit today (which we always love), we may ask that the visit is to the family and not to see my dad. We want to make every effort to keep my dad calm and focused on his breathing.

Thanks again for your continued support as you walk beside us on this life changing journey.

-Barbara

Thank You

2009-03-28T20:14:00.003-05:00

I am thinking about what happened last Sat. I can't believe all that my dad went through!!! What a miracle that he is doing great and alive. As I write this entry, I am so tired, can't think clearly, but SO thankful for every one's prayers and support. Please forgive the grammar errors and spelling mistakes. I hardly know my name right now or where I live. I am so grateful for this miracle God has given us. God used my dad to help others either through prayer, getting closer to God, trusting him, and not worrying about the little things like the economy, and the loss of jobs. We should be grateful for family and health. I know that he was used in a way that would help others. God knew that he was strong and would make it through this. I know that we heard wonderful news today, but God does not want us to stop praying for him and to stop us from talking to God.God likes hearing from you and wants you to trust him. Pray for my dad's healing, him getting off the vent. and his ulcer that is still there. I can't wait for my dad to talk. I also ask you to pray that he knows us. Thanks for doing this. There will be and has been a lesson learned through this. My faith has never been so strong before this. Don't stop praying, keep praying hard and often. When my dad is better and telling his jokes, don't forget to talk to God about what is going on in your own life. HE DOES LISTEN!!!!!!

-Christine

2009-03-28T11:10:00.004-05:00

HALLELUJAH!!! OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!

After a week that has been pure torture for all of us, Dwight woke up!

During my early morning shower (before any word of Dwight's amazing progress from the night), I didn't know whether to cry, scream, or just remain numb. The words of a song I learned as a little child kept resonating through my mind:

The Lord knows the way through the wilderness
All I have to do is follow
Strength for today is mine always
All that I need for tomorrow
The Lord knows the way through the wilderness
All I have to do is follow!

I have been in the deep valleys and in the wilderness. But your prayers have been with me and have given me the courage and strength to withstand each hour. Without that, I would have exploded.

Here is what is happening right now:

They took Dwight off the respirator, but he was breathing too shallow. They have reconnected the respirator for the time being and have given him another sedative to keep him calm. They will try to take him off of it again today. When he has been breathing on his own for 24 hours, they will transfer him to another floor. He looked at us, was able to nod to questions, but naturally he is scared and confused and totally unaware how terribly sick he was. There are still some issues such as the huge ulcer, but we have been through so many more serious things, that we are glad it is only that now.

Please continue to pray for his recovery. They said that he had several years of stress and bodily aging due to the massive abuse to his system. Perhaps now our energy level will be the same. Dwight was always super go-go-go!

I have my rock back! I am so thankful to all of you but most of all to God who listened to our prayers and showed us mercy and grace!

-Susan

HE IS RISEN...HE IS RISEN INDEED!!!

2009-03-28T09:45:00.002-05:00

From all of us, we THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF YOUR PRAYERS AND KIND WORDS. But most of all, We thank God! This experience has brought our family closer together than ever before. Dwight will be happy to know this.

The ICU doctor said that his review of the MRI didn't show anything of concern. He still wants the neurologist to look at it, but he said the real indication of Dwight's condition is how he is acting now that he is awake. He told me that Dwight will be talking to us soon. They took him off the ventilator for little while this morning. Dwight was breathing on his own, but he was taking some quicker, shallow breaths. They put him back on the ventilator but the doctor said he thinks they'll be able to remove it this afternoon.

All of my deepest thanks and gratitude to everyone.

Love,
Mark

“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how.'”

2009-03-28T09:42:00.003-05:00

We are rejoicing in the waiting room today because we are now on the road to recovery.

The MRI is clear.
My dad is off the ventilator.
He should be talking soon.
The doctors are smiling . . . an expression we haven't seen all week.

So now we pray for my dad's healing and rest. Praise God that these are our prayers.

I am so proud of my dad. The amount of fight that he has for us. This is a miracle and our laments have turned to praise.

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves.” -Victor Frankl

We are forever changed.
-Barbara

HE'S BAAAAAAAACKKKK!!!!!

2009-03-28T08:24:00.002-05:00

This is Mark. I've been talking to Dwight and he smiled at me. I think he was real happy to see my White Sox cap! :-) Let me tell you one thing: GOD HAS ANSWERED ALL OF OUR PRAYERS! GOD IS REAL. GOD IS GOOD. I am so happy I can't even type any more!

The true test!

2009-03-28T06:46:00.001-05:00

My dad opened his eyes and is responding to commands! They took him off of sedation for a while (what I'm told is a sedation vacation) to see what he responds to and when the nurse said Tokig he opened his eyes and tried to smile. He nodded to a question and was looking around the room.

Our friend Nick has kept telling us to focus on my dad and not the tests and while we are still awaiting results from the MRI I have absolute faith that my dad is with us!

Keep praying!

Where is it written?

2009-03-27T21:51:00.004-05:00

As I go to bed tonight I am led to hope by God's word.

Jesus said to the paralytic, “Arise, take up your bed and walk.” (Matthew 9:6)

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

“When doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer.” (Psalm 94:19)

Thank you for your prayers. We pray for God's mercy and healing for my dad's brain and good results from the MRI tomorrow.

Amazing Grace

2009-03-27T17:39:00.003-05:00

I am sitting here in the waiting room looking at the comments on the blog, reading e-mail and listening to messages on my phone. I am truly amazed and humbled by the outpouring of support that our family has received. First, Christine, Mark, Barbara and Nathan have been a tremendous comfort to me during this awful, devasting time. They have bolstered my spirits and have shown me their great faith in crisis.

The visits from many friends and relatives have kept me as calm as possible. The cards have been encouraging, and the prayers that have surrounded Dwight and me have been very meaningful to us.

Please continue to fervently pray for Dwight.

We are glad that Dwight is strong enough for them to give the MRI test, but we are so fearful of bad news. We do have faith that God is in charge, and we are asking for his mercy and direction for our family. The amount of people who have read the blog show us how much all of you care for him. Please be sure to include your full names so that we are sure who is entering comments.

- Susan

I Am There

2009-03-27T17:27:00.003-05:00

I Am There
A poem sent to my mom by a friend.

Do you need Me?
I am there.
You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by.
You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice.
You cannot feel Me, yet I am the power at work in your hands.
I am at work, though you do not understand My ways.
I am at work, though you do not recognize My works.
I am not strange visions. I am not mysteries.
Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me as I am,and then but as a feeling and a faith.
Yet I am there.
Yet I hear.
Yet I answer.
When you need Me, I am there.
Even if you deny Me, I am there.
Even when you feel most alone, I am there.
Even in your fears, I am there.
Even in your pain, I am there.
I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.
I am in you, and you are in Me.
Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me, for only in your mind are the mists of "yours" and "mine."
Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience Me.
Empty your heart of empty fears.
When you get yourself out of the way, I am there.
You can of yourself do nothing, but I can do all.
And I am in all.
Though you may not see the good, good is there, for I am there.
I am there because I have to be, because I am.
Only in Me does the world have meaning; only out of Me does the world take from; only because of Me does the world go forward.
I am the law on which the movement of the stars and the growth of living cells are founded.
I am the love that is the law's fulfilling.
I am assurance.
I am peace.
I am oneness.
I am the law that you can live by.
I am the love that you can cling to.
I am your assurance.
I am your peace.
I am one with you.
I am.
Though you fail to find Me, I do not fail you.
Though your faith in Me is unsure, My faith in you never wavers, because I know you, because I love you.

Beloved, I am there.

by James Dillet Freeman

No news yet

2009-03-27T16:28:00.001-05:00

We are still waiting for my dad to take the MRI. I am feeling nervous that the test will come back bad. I know this test is it. The final decision. I have been hopeful this entire time, even when they said my dad might be brain dead. I still did not give up hope. When I sit with my dad I feel that he is going to make it. I know he is. But when I wait in the waiting room I get nervous. I still need everyone to pray just as hard as when we heard bad news. Pray loud and hard. I know God is listening. He needs to hear from you. Don't give up on him. I have not. My dad needs the prayers. God is going to work a miracle.

-Christine

Housekeeping

2009-03-27T14:30:00.002-05:00

Several of you have said that you'd like to post a comment but don't know how. Look at the top right of the computer screen where it says sign in and then create a user name and password. Hope that helps!

Also, I went through my mom's cell phone and listened to the messages so she has room in her voicemail box now. Thanks so much for your words of assurance and support. Please know that my mom has heard these messages but may not have time or energy to respond.

Thanks again!

A prayer

2009-03-27T12:46:00.003-05:00

Jesus, there are times in our lives
when things fall apart,
when dreams are shattered,
when hope no longer seems possible.
In our poverty, our brokenness,
we come to you for healing.
In those times of trial, Jesus,
remind us of your love,
remind us of your forgiveness,
remind us of your promise to be with us always,
and grant us the grace to go forward in faith.

KEEP PRAYING HARD. PRAY AS HARD AS YOU DID WHEN THINGS WERE NOT GOING HOW WE WANTED IT TO BE. GOD IS LISTENING. HE 9WANTS TO HEAR FROM YOU. PRAY FOR MY DAD'S MIND AND THAT THE MRI COMES BACK SAYING THAT HE IS GOING TO BE OKAY. PRAY LOUD AND HARD.

-Christine

Verse for the day

2009-03-27T11:56:00.001-05:00

Thank you Melissa for sharing this verse with us. Let it be our prayer for today:

We wait in hope for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,
even as we put our hope in you.

- Ps. 33:20-22

Tokig

2009-03-27T11:32:00.004-05:00

Tokig (pronounced "too key")is the name my dad chose to have his granddaughters call him. The loose transition for "tokig" in Swedish is crazy. Sanne loves talking to Tokig on her fake cell phone and answers to most random things like "where are we going" or "who do you love" often are answered with "Tokig"

This morning my dad's Swedish nurse started yelling to him "Tokig, wake up" and he opened his eyes!

This is good news. We don't know the extent of this good news just yet. He will be having an MRI later today which will give a more detailed idea of what damage was done to his brain during the time on Saturday that he did not have enough oxygen. So we continue to ask for prayers that they do not find anything on the MRI and that my dad continues to wake from sedation and continues to react.

After all the miraculous medical interventions and God's working hands . . . it now comes down to my dad waking up and being himself. Please pray that these miracles continue.

We thank God for our daily bread of good news to carry us through our day today.
-Barbara

Friday AM

2009-03-27T09:28:00.003-05:00

Today my dad will have an MRI which to my understanding will give a clearer picture of my dad's brain in terms of tissue, bleeding in the brain, etc. Please say prayers that this test does not show anything. The MRI will be done early afternoon we think but we don't know how long it will take to interpret the results.

If anyone has any information to share about how MRIs work or a more defined explanation of what a coma is, please comment. It would be helpful for us to understand it in simple terms. We know that even the best medical professional can't answer our main question today and that is if my dad will live and how he will live but clarity for where we are at now is always appreciated.

I slept good last night thanks to a sleeping pill and the tremendous love and care my mother-in-law is giving to our family (she flew in yesterday morning). But once I sat on the couch and grabbed my coffee the phone rang and it all came rushing back. My body now feels like every nerve is shot and it is hard to find deep breaths. I know that everyone in my family is experiencing similar feelings so we just ask that you pray that God will calm our hearts today.

Please also send prayers for my dad to wake from his coma. What we would give for him to open his eyes.

-Barbara

Thursday PM

2009-03-26T20:08:00.003-05:00

Many of you know that my favorite mantra is "the blessing is next to the wound". I love this image because it does not try to mask or take away from the wound but acknowledges the parallel blessings given during difficult times.

I wept when I returned home tonight after another day/night/day at the hospital and hotel. Our dear friends had taken our house keys and we came home to folded laundry, muffins, tea, wine and a clean home. What a gift of God's work through our friends.

I am overwhelmed by the amount of love shown to my family during this time in a variety of ways:

visitors

babysitters

people who bring food and clean clothes

prayer

lit candles in your home and toasts to my dad

phone messages of encouragement and empathy

our friends who are in the medical field who have helped us sort through all of the information

those who have offered their homes, their hotel discounts, their transportation and time

When . . . when my dad wakes up he will be overcome by the amount of love that has been shown to him and to his family during this time.

When my dad fainted at work, the first thing he did, I am told, was to reach for his phone to inform his family. It is his reflex to love and take care of us. Thank you for doing that for him when he is not able. It is not only a gift to us but to him.

My mom wanted me to mention that the counter was put onto our blog on Tuesday at 9PM. There have been over 7,000 hits in 48 hours. Each hit to us is a reminder that a prayer has been said for my dad and we are so thankful of this tangible reminder of your support, love, courage, compassion and hope.

-Barbara

KEEP PRAYING --- God is listening!

2009-03-26T14:28:00.002-05:00

This is Mark (Dwight's "favorite son-in-law"...j/k Nathan). Things are happening and I am full of hope right now. I just saw Dwight and there was a promising sign. But, first let me fill you in on what's happened today.

This morning (around 11 am), the neurologist performed some tests and then asked that we (the family) meet with him and the ICU doctor in a conference room. When you hear that, you get worried. Here's what they told us. First off, Dwight is NOT "brain dead"! His brain stem functions, including basic reflexes, were working. His pupils respond to light, he can bite, he yawns, he coughs. This is the good news.

Then, the neurologist mentioned that the EEG test, which they had monitored for 24 hours was really ordered because they wanted to see if some muscle twitching in his neck was related to seisures. He said the test seems to show they are not seisures. While this sounds good, he said it creates other concerns. There appears to be a disconnect between the brain and the muscles in his neck.

Some tests perfomed on Dwight's reflexes to pinching some of his muscles and nerves showed some response in his right arm but no response in his left arm (remember this).

Basically, the doctors said the next test would be an MRI of the brain; however, they have to wait for him to strengthen and stabilize more. They may be able to perform the test tomorrow. The MRI will give a better indication if there has been any severe damage to the brain. If so, the neurologist said the prognosis is not good. However, if the test looks okay, hope continues.

We left the meeting feeling a little relief that the early EEG results from yesterday aren't definitive. For now, we expect Dwight to remain stable. He is still in a deep coma.

Now for the exciting news. I was just in his room with a nurse and I noticed his left arm moving. I pinched a nail on his left arm and he responded to this. This was the arm that showed no activity earlier. This for me provided a tremendous boost in hope and excitement. I STILL BELIEVE GOD IS HEALING DWIGHT AND BRINGING HIM BACK TO US. Nothing has told me that all hope is lost. To the contrary, I am more hopeful now than I was after meeting with the doctors.

Okay, now is where I ask EVERYONE, please CONTINUE TO PRAY. GOD HONORS PRAYERS WHEN WE BELIEVE AND TRUST IN HIM. I ask you all to remain positive and hopeful. I believe a miracle is at work. I'm not giving up. I'm asking you to do the same.

Thursday AM

2009-03-26T09:07:00.005-05:00

No news to report. My dad remains in a coma and we hope that this will slowly lift. Due to the heavy sedation they had given him, it may still take 24 hours to wake.

After the first EEG the doctors decided to run a 24 hour video EEG. That will be complete around noon today and we will await those results. (probably the first time the camera has been on him and not him behind the camera). The first EEG gave us very negative predictions as to the neurological function of my dad's brain.

So please keep praying for a miracle.

As I lay in bed last night so desperate to fall asleep I said this prayer to the rhythm of my breathing

Please let me sleep.
Please let my dad wake.

I know it's simple but that's what life has becoming right now. Incredibly overwhelmed by the simplest things that now mean so, so much.

A Prayer for This Day
written by Ruth Duck

Healing River of the Spirit

Healing river of the Spirit,
Bathe the wounds that living brings.
Plunge our pain, our sin, our sadness
Deep beneath your sacred springs.
Weary from the restless searching
That has lured us from your side,
We discover in your presence
Peace the world cannot provide

-Barbara

Slumber

2009-03-25T20:20:00.004-05:00

We are attempting to leave the hospital to get food and sleep. It is so, so hard to walk away from this waiting room even though it has become my least favorite place in the world. Some kind of purgatory.

We have spent the day at my dad's bedside . . . friends and family coming through this hospital to walk beside us.

We have had prayers, benedictions, songs, rubs, conversations, jokes, laughter, tears. And we wait . . . for God to show us His plan.

Nathan and I went out for a walk this afternoon and went to the Episcopal Church down the street. They were having a healing service. I have never before understood "give us this day our daily bread" as I did tonight.

When you are in crisis the simple things become everything to you. I would give ANYTHING to hear my dad's voice or see his eyes or watch him scratch his back against the wall like he so often does. Even to hear one of his corny jokes . . .
Something that has just been a part of my life for thirty years is now something that I so desperately want but can't have.

But God is giving us our daily bread . . . enough to sustain us right now. We are weak, tired, scared, filled with grief and devastation.

Tomorrow is a new day and we pray that God will provide us with good and miraculous news.

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:21-23

-Barbara

My Best Friend

2009-03-25T17:15:00.003-05:00

It is at a time like this that we find comfort from the prayers, calls, blog and e-mail comments and visits from family and friends. I cannot thank you enough for all the love and kindness that you have been showing to us. Words are difficult to find now since I am going through the worst day of my life. Please continue to pray fervently for Dwight. Most medical interventions have been performed on him, so now it is completely in God's hands. Dwight and I have been married almost 41 years and have so many plans for the future. I cannot imagine life without him, so please continue to pray! Thank you!
Susan

PM

2009-03-25T17:08:00.005-05:00

I don't really have an update to tell you but wanted to just check in with our faithful readers. A little more detail on the news we received.

The EEG results showed that my dad is in a deep coma and there is very little brain activity. This is very difficult news for us.

They took him off of sedation at noon and we are waiting, praying, hoping he will wake up and if/when he does that his brain function is okay. (if he wakes up it is likely it would be in these next 48 hours)

The difficulty in the news we received is that due to the findings in the EEG this is statistically not likely.

But we know that God is bigger than statistics and doctors and medicine. As my mom said through her tears, God raised Lazarus. Nathan reminded me that this was through the love of Mary. Please be Mary for my dad.

We just ask you to lay your hands on my dad, from where you are. Light a candle for him . . . sing for him, pray for him.

We are asking God for a miracle.

Lord in your mercy, hear our urgent prayer.

-Barbara

Prayers needed

2009-03-25T13:13:00.002-05:00

We've just received some devastating news. The results of the tests show that Dwight is in a deep coma. At this point we need to pray for a miracle. Please also pray for the whole Samuelson family during this time as more difficult decisions and news will most certainly be on the horizon.

The story

2009-03-25T11:31:00.002-05:00

Nathan received a phone call on Saturday morning from a frantic woman regarding Sam (that's what they call my dad at work). This woman, Adriana Corea, a co-worker of my dad's at NBC, was so brave and acted fast. She shared an account of what happened to my dad before he entered the ER. This account was shared by her on facebook and I am pasting it below to give you more details surrounding our situation.

Thanks will never be enough for Adriana. Here is her story that she posted on Sunday.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO SAM @ NBC. Thanks for your concern.

Sun 9:00pm

I've told this story so many times within the last four days...and I don' t know if it's right for me to tell someone else's story, but so many of you have expressed concern and a desire to know what actually happened. So for those who have yet to find out, and to those who have at any point crossed paths along your careers with Dwight Samuelson better known to us as Sam...here's my account.

Sam worked the morning shows here at NBC as an editor for as long as I can remember. He retired not too long ago (and for those who are not aware), he returned as a daily hire on Saturday mornings, because he truly loves this profession.

Saturday at 5am I was the supervisor on duty for the morning shows. Sam was our editor, and Alex Zigic was the writer. Sam did not look well and when I expressed this to him, he agreed but he blamed it on the fact that he was not able to get a good-night sleep before his 3am shift. Being all too familiar with that symptom myself, I sympathized with him and told him to do what he could, and if he was not able to function, to let me know and I would step in and relieve him. Being the trooper that he is, he insisted he would be okay to work all the way through 9am.

At 830am, the writer noticed that Sam was not performing to his full potential (he thought that perhaps he was falling asleep due to his tiredness). He went looking for me and when we both returned to the edit suite, Sam was in the middle of a seizure like moment. He was not responsive, he was white as paper, and his body was limp. I immediately ran to alert the producer Laura Meeehan and had her call 911. When I returned to the edit suite, Sam was shaking, and kept wanting to stick his hand in his pant's front pocket. I reached in for him and found his cell phone. I thought perhaps he wanted me to call his wife so she would be able to tell me how I could make him better. Before I could say no more than my name, Sam let out an explosive amount of blood through his mouth and nose and then fainted. I could no longer hold him steady on the chair (I’m 5’1 and he’s like 6’2), and he fell to the ground. Those few minutes seemed like hours, I ran to the producer and yelled “where is the ambulance?” She assured me it was on the way and Anita Selvaggio (assignment desk editor) was outside waiting for them to arrive.

I returned to Sam’s side, turned him over and then suddenly he woke up, not knowing what had happened. All he wanted to do was get up and finish editing for the 9am show! I managed to get him to lie down and wait for the ambulance to come. All he kept saying was “I’m fine, I’m fine let me finish editing”. The ambulance came, and took him away. He was talking and seemed aware of it all.

Today Sunday I spoke to the Family at the hospital and they want to thank everyone for their concern with Sam. This is what they told me happened once Sam arrived at the hospital.

He underwent numerous tests, and it looked like they were going to keep him overnight, but things quickly turned bad. Doctors could not locate the bleeding ulcer, his stats dropped, he had several blood transfusions. They tried a very risky procedure, and with this they were able to locate the bleeding ulcer and stabilize it. Now they’re dealing with liquid in the lungs and other possible complications. They hooked him up to a machine to help him breath, and when I went to see him they told us that half of the breathing was his, and half was the machine so this was good news! He is totally sedated, but I'm sure he could hear me as I talked to him in his ear. They will keep him on the respirator, in hope that the liquid will dry up on its own. Let’s all pray for Sam’s lungs, his heart and for a full and healthy recovery.

Adriana

Housekeeping

2009-03-25T10:11:00.003-05:00

On the suggestion of Nathan, we added a counter to our blog. I added it at 9:30PM last night. It is on the left colum of this page. Please take a look at the count. It is a way to quantify the amazing, amazing support and love we have been given through your concern and care. Thank you, thank you. As that number continues to go up we are comforted in knowing that our community surrounds us.

I am concerned for my mom's ability to balance her time here with rest. She wants to make sure that she sees all of her visitors and finds a lot of comfort in your presence here. In order to let her feel like she can run back to the hotel or grab some food, I am asking that if you come to visit and we are not in the waiting room to please call my mom or dad's cell phone (she has both). We are always within a block or two of the waiting room so we can be back here in a moments notice.

312.720.0297
312.720.0296

-Barbara

Waiting Game

2009-03-25T10:03:00.003-05:00

We arrived at the hospital a bit ago and went to visit my dad. My dad's swelling has gone down but he is twitching and while this could mean many things, it has caused stress for my mom and I. We spoke with the nursing staff and it sounds like his night was pretty stable. They tried to take him out of sedation but the twitching didn't stop and they put him back in sedation.

They will do a second eeg today and it may be an hour or monitoring up to 24 hours. The doctors will compare these results with the first eeg and we will then get some more information.

I just want to know if my dad is okay. I know that this is so basic but it is the cry of my heart.

I know that we should be "taking it one thing at a time . . . one day at a time" but I am exhibiting the most patience I have ever had and still feel like I'm a child on a long distance car ride . . . "are we there yet?!"

Please continue to pray:

For my dad's neurological function.
For the wisdom of the doctors.
For God to provide more and more peace and comfort to us.
For the twitching in my dad's body.
For courage for my dad when he wakes from sedation.
For our tired bodies.
For continued wisdom in work/life/circumstance balance.

-Barbara

As I breathe I hope - Latin Proverb

2009-03-24T17:34:00.001-05:00

It has been a good day for my dad. Very simply (because, frankly, very simply is how I understand it)

Areas of praise:

His lungs are improving

His heart is strong

The artery where he was bleeding has been clamped during the procedure and if the ulcer continues to bleed it will not be as great of a bleed. They are hopeful that this will not happen at all and it will be healed through medication and time.

The doctors will soon begin the dance of taking him in and out of sedation to see if he is ready to wake up

His cat scan showed no sign of issues

His color is looking better and even though he is still very bloated from the fluids, he looks more like himself to the family

Areas of concern:

We are waiting for the results of his EEG which will give the doctors a more detailed look at his brain function. We are told we will hear this tomorrow. Please pray for mental and physical rest for the family as we wait to know what is totally out of our control. I'll speak for myself when I say that's not an easy place to be.

We will not know the extent of his brain function until he wakes up and of course, this is a huge, huge weight for us right now.

Please continue to pray for my dad's incredible strength he has shown to us.

God is very present to us and while we have a hard time truly saying "thy will be done" we know in our hearts that God's provision is here.

I can't help but think of this Lenten season as we walk through these trials. It is a true test to the discipline of casting our burdens and giving up control that was never ours to begin with. Anne Lammot talks about the image of a child sitting in the back seat of a car with a plastic wheel . . . moving that wheel around as if he is in control of the car. And the child's mother looks in the rear view mirror and smiles. God is our driver and I am reminded that as much as I want to choose my dad's destiny, I am in the back with the plastic wheel. In some strange way, there is comfort in that.

-Barbara

March 24th PM

2009-03-24T14:11:00.001-05:00

Here are a few updates we have for prayer requests:

My dad will be having a Cat Scan and EEG this afternoon. We will have results later tonight or early tomorrow morning. Time feels incredibly slow for us right now as we are so anxious for these results.

My dad has contracted pneumonia but this was expected and is being treated with antibiotic. Please pray for this healing.

The doctors may be waking him up from his sedation again this afternoon and this is hopeful to us as family. Hoping to see his eyes and have him hear our words of support and love.

We are exhausted and are leaning on each of you and your prayers to carry us through this. Thank you again for your faithfulness and hope, your generosity and kindness.

Below is a Hebrew prayer of healing sent to us by our dear friends, Hal and Corki. May this be a universal prayer for my dad today.

Mi Sheberak: May the one who is Blessed

May the one who blessed our ancestors-
Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah,
Abraham,Isaac, and Jacob,
bless and heal, Dwight, the one who is ill.

May the holy one, the fount of blessings,
show abundant mercies upon him,
fulfilling his dreams of healing,
strengthening his with the power of life.

Merciful One:
restore him,
heal him,
strengthen him,
enliven him.

Send him a complete healing from the heavenly realms,
a healing of body and soul,
together with all who are ill,
soon, speedily,without delay;
and let us say:
Amen

-Barbara

EEG

2009-03-24T10:16:00.001-05:00

My dad will be having an EEG in a couple of hours which will give the doctors a clearer picture of his brain function. Please pray!

March 24th AM

2009-03-24T09:16:00.001-05:00

My dad had a good night last night. He has gone from 60 to 40 on the ventilator and they have begun to try to take him out of sedation. We have been told that this may take some time. This is a critical point for us as family because it will be telling of his neurological function.

Prayer Requests

That his ulcer does not bleed

His brain is working well

For our family to continue to find strength . . . we did not sleep well last night but know we need energy

-Barbara

2009-03-23T17:43:00.001-05:00

I am discouraged. We met with the gastroendicrinologist (GI) following the procedure. He was able to locate the ulcer that caused the bleeding in the first place. This is the location that was stopped on Saturday (nothing short of a miracle). The ulcer is the side of a golf ball and the risk that it will begin to bleed again is greater than 50%. This is cause for alarm because the bleeding puts my dad at great risk.

Right now the GI and surgical team are consulting to weigh the risk of surgery vs. the risk of the ulcer bleeding again. We are assuming that we will hear updates on this decision in the coming hours.

To bring hope to my discouragement I wanted to share a Bible verse sent to me by our friend Greg.

"The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."We know that all things work together for good, for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose."...
Romans 8:26-28, NRSV

-Barbara

3/23 afternoon

2009-03-23T15:51:00.000-05:00

My dad is having an upper endoscopy right now. Please say prayers for good results.

March 23rd AM

2009-03-23T11:39:00.000-05:00

Thank you for your prayer of sleep and nourishment for our family. We all slept last night and ate a good dinner and breakfast.

We have good, bad and neutral news to report. My dad continues to be in stable condition. His ventilator is down from being at 100% yesterday to 60% today. This is good news in that it means that he is breathing on his own 40%.

His heart has been working incredibly hard and they are giving him medication to make sure that it continues to heal and work properly.

The most overwhelming thing for us right now is the unknown regarding my dad's neurological function. Because they have put him in heavy sedation they are unable to assess how this trauma has affected his brain. He will most likely be in sedation for several more days so that his body focuses on healing his lungs and heart. He lost a lot of oxygen to his brain when he was in trauma so this is cause for great concern.

We fear the worst and hope for the best. This is a marathon and we are tired and scared and so badly want to sprint to the finish line.

We so badly want to take control and understand what is going on but know in our heart of hearts that God is in control and has been and continues to be.

How to care for my mom?

She welcomes phone calls and enjoys reading stories of who is praying for her, please feel free to share these through the comment section on the blog.

She welcomes visitors to sit with her here in the waiting room but please call first. Her number is 312.720.0296. My mom is here from about 10AM-8PM (9th floor of Northwestern Memorial, ICU)

And of course: prayer. We have felt God's presence and intervention.

Prayer Requests

My dad's neurlogical function

Liquid to leave his lungs

His heart to grow stronger

For our family's ability to be in the moment and not to be troubled by what we do not know and cannot predict

For the amazing medical team caring for my dad

That we will not be burdened by demands of our life outside of this situation

Nathan, Barbara & Mark as we head back to work tomorrow

Christine as she juggles caring for Klara and being present at the hospital

Blessings to you as you walk along side of us.

March 22 PM

2009-03-23T11:32:00.000-05:00

Thank you to those who have reached out through phone calls, emails . . . and to those of you who hold us up in prayer.

I wanted to give you a quick update on my dad's health. Today has been a quiet day in terms of improvements and this is equally as good as it is bad. He continues to be in sedation and on a breathing tube. Right now we ask that you please pray for my dad's lungs. Our kind friend, who is a surgeon at the hospital, came by today to explain the situation in ways that made more sense to us. He said that the next most important improvement is my dad's lungs to be rid of fluid and that he be able to breathe on his own. This can take days to happen and it is critical for this to occur for my dad to be able to recover.

It is a test of faith and endurance for the family but also a huge hurdle for my dad at this point.

Amazing to think that two days ago . . . life was so normal and now we are living in the hospital waiting room looking at oxygen levels, heart rates and other things that we are totally unequipted to interpret but desperately want to, as an attempt to know more. We are waiting for my dad's body to work miracles for things we each take for granted . . . like breathing on our own and opening our eyes. The next big step once his lungs are functioning is that he have normal brain function. Right now because of the sedation, the medical professionals are unable to know what the results of my dad's brain function are. Please pray for this, as it is in our minds and hearts as well.

Other prayer requests:
For us to be able to sleep and eat. It's been difficult to find an appetite or quiet our minds to rest but two days in, it is certain that it's so important.

Nathan, Mark and I as we go back to work and try to balance that with our hearts wanting to be right here.

And of course for my mom . . . for comfort and rest. I can't imagine . . . I just cannot imagine what it must be like to be in her shoes. As I celebrate my 7 year wedding anniversary tomorrow I am reminded of the deep love my parents have for one another and the loyalty and love my mom has at my dad's bedside.

"To love someone is to learn the song in their heart and sing it to them when they have forgotten."
Thank you for singing to us.

We need and love your support.
Barbara

March 22nd AM

2009-03-23T11:09:00.001-05:00

This blog is an outlet for the family to communicate with loved ones about Dwight. Please feel free to check here for any status updates and prayer requests.

Email from 3/22:

Yesterday morning started with a phone call from a frantic woman calling about my dad. He was at work and had passed out and started throwing up blood. He was rushed to Northwestern Memorial Hospital and quickly joined by my immediate family. At first it felt like they were going to give him more blood, run some tests and keep him overnight for monitoring but this quickly changed.

Some stats:
2/3rds of his stomach was filed with blood
his hemoglobin level which should be at a 15 was at 3
he received 20 liters of blood (5 times our body volume)

The doctors wanted to stop the bleeding but after two scopes they were unable to do so because they couldn't located it with all the blood continuing to fill. Doctors started to say "grave . . .critical . . brace for the worst" We were surrounded by family and friends . . .pastors and doctors and I have to be honest, I began to deal with the fact that I was losing my dad. The final decision was to do a last stitch effort to do a procedure with the intervention radiologist. It was incredibly risky and the doctors weren't sure if he would even survive the ride down to the OR. But time passed and with each moment we were met with hope for success.

Nathan and I ran downstairs to grab coffee and as we came out of the elevators to the radiology floor we heard clapping and cheering. A complete 180 . . . they were able to find the bleeding and STOP the bleeding. His blood pressure is up and his heart rate is lower.

God doesn't work in coincidence . . . for him to be at work yesterday, three blocks from Northwestern Memorial, the best radiology deparment, some say, in the world. We are not out of the woods. My dad continues to be in critical condition and is currently sedated and on a breathing tube. He has blood in his lungs and they are cautious for infection and lack of oxygen that was lost for a time during the day.

Each moment, yesterday, there were at least five doctors, working tirelessly to keep my dad alive and so, so many prayers.

Please be praying for my dad, for my mom, for our family and friends who are gathering together in the hospital and in prayer.

God has worked a miracle, my dad has fought so hard and we pray that this continues. Here are some numbers if you want to get ahold of us.

Please understand if we are not immediate in our follow through.

I will do my best to send updates. We are staying downtown for another night or two (thank you Sarah for the incredible gift of supplying us for hotel rooms!)

Love,Barbara

My mom's cell: 312/720/0296
My cell: 773/801/9544
Christine's cell: 847/738/3228
Northwestern Memorial Hospital Room 920 in ICU