Happy Anniversary

Society and Hallmark make a big deal about certain anniversaries such as those ending with a five or ten.

Last year Dwight and I celebrated our 40th Wedding Anniversary. We had a quiet dinner and a movie...rather low key.

This year, however, on our 41st anniversary, we have a lot to celebrate!

A little over two months ago, the idea of our anniversary seemed to be in doubt. We really had to live our vows of "for better or worse" in a real way during those difficult days. God gave us the best gift we could ever have...each other!!!

Happy 41st Anniversary, Dwight!

Love,

Sue

Stormy Lake

There are moments in grieving where the loss of a loved one comes in full force when you least expect it. It's not always on the anniversaries or birthdays but when you see something that reminds you of them or hear a song that reminds you of them. I'll never forget what my grandma would always say when I'd call her on my grandpa's birthday "Today is not any different than any other day, Barbara. Every day you miss the person you lost. You keep walking, you just walk with a limp."

And like grieving, our celebration comes in unexpected moments.

This weekend, the Cederberg and Nordlund families headed up to Stormy Lake for a weekend together. This is an annual tradition where my parents give us the cabin to celebrate the first weekend of summer.

Before we left to come back to Chicago, I was in my parent's room and opened my dad's closet and saw his shirts, his hats, his dvds that he's lovingly put together for special events. And I was overcome with joy. I was again reminded, in such a raw way, that my dad came out of horrible circumstance. This is a complex feeling because I know that other loved ones have not been as fortunate to have their parents survive difficult health issues.

Parents are knit into their children''s character through the years of caring for their children. But I also saw this weekend, how my dad is knit into Stormy Lake with his silly parking meters and yes, fake people.

You would think that every moment would be a reminder of this joy but if there is one thing I have learned through this process it's that my heart and my head don't always connect with one another. My head knows of the amazing healing that has been given to my dad's body but my heart remains protected, slowly unfolding the relief and joy.

***

This coming Sunday, May 31st, my dad will be sharing his story during the 10:30 worship service at their home church, Winnekta Covenant, and you are welcome to join us if you'd like.

***

Many of you continue to ask how my dad is doing. Thank you for your continued interest and support.

To paint the picture, my mom and dad's week events have included:

a trip to New Buffalo, Michigan to celebrate an anniversary with friends

water areobics at Galter Life Center

a trip to Milwaukke to see a Brewers game and a dinner at their favorite German restaurant

a visit to Gurnee to see my sister and my niece Klara

(and many other things I'm sure)

Two months ago to date, we sat with the reality that my dad may never wake up.

God's graces are bigger than we could ever imagine and "is sufficient for me".

-Barbara

Check out a headline on the front page of the Covenant website by clicking here : )

If you are visiting our blog from the Covenant website, feel free to read archived entries by scrolling down on the right column and clicking on March.

M.I.A.

My dad just finished the scope and the ulcer is gone.

Praise God!

Tuesday

This morning my dad will be having a scope to see if the ulcer has healed. Please send your prayers as this is something that will hopefully be giving this family positive results and a huge sigh of relief.

-Barbara

Sandwich.

I'd like to think that I'm too young to be in the "sandwich generation" but often times during the critical days and weeks of my dad's illness, I felt like I needed to be both a mother to my daughter and a daughter to my mother.

There were the quiet and private moments where I would just come home from a day at the hospital and weep. For my fear to hope and my sense of feeling defeated and overwhelmed.

You learn a lot about people in times of crisis. You see both best and worst moments surrounded while on the roller coaster. I'll never forget March 25th. It was the night following the news of my dad's eeg report. Nathan, Sanne and I stayed at the hotel with my mom that night. We left the hospital like zombies, feeling like one foot was in total devestation. That night,we had conversation that I never want to have to face again thinking about the reality of my dad's prognosis. We dug into the deepest parts of our hearts.

And as I sat at that corner booth, facing my mom, I looked at her in a way I never had before. As a wife. As someone who loved her husband with the whole of her heart. I saw that heart breaking. Thinking of what could be her future and loving my dad so much . . . for the little and the big things that make a marriage.

Today is mother's day and I think of my mom today. In words I'm only ready to put down in writing but don't have the strength to say aloud. My mother, during this time of total fear, was

authentic

kind

gracious

faithful

nurturing

scared

and living out her wedding vows with her heart

I am turning thirty this year and a little over two years ago became a mother myself. During this time I have learned much more about my mom through my own experiences. Relating on a different level. Starting to uncover the sacrifices she made to keep me happy and healthy.

My dad is incredibly strong, motivated, faithful, loving. But today, I celebrate my mom. Who has stood by my dad's side. A true testament to me.

Love you, Mom.

- Barbara

Paying it forward

Getting in the car in the early morning . . . grabbing some coffee and setting up to greet friends and family in support of my dad . . .

It felt a lot like our time in the ICU but with celebration rather than fear. Thank you to all who came today to donate their time, their blood, their baked goods, their well wishes and hugs. We left church this afternon feeling filled with your kindness and reminded of your incredible support.

Please enjoy the little photo show below.

Blood Drive Tomorrow!

There's still time to sign up if you're interested. We've, unfortunately, had quite a few cancellations in the last few days so there are many slots available.

Thanks!

Updates

This week has been a busy one for my dad with rehab and tests. He had an ultrasound at NMH yesterday and the results are fine. They believe he had a gall stone which was causing the levels to heighten. He will meet in June to find out more about their findings on his fatty liver.

Next Tuesday is his upperendoscopy that will tell us more about the healing of his ulcer. Please say some prayers for this. My dad had a bad experience during the last scope so I also ask for prayers that he doesn't feel anxiety going into this procedure.

Also, if you are still interested in signing up for the blood drive we still have slots we need to fill. You can either sign up by following the instructions on the right hand side of the blog or you can email me at barbaranordlund@gmail.com and I can help you sign up.

Thanks!
Barbara

Milestone

Today was my dad's last day with the home health nurse and physical therapist. He works out each day at Galter now with a new physical therapist who is part of the rehabilitation department. I think my dad really enjoys this because it's a way for him to be able to continue to stretch himself and regain strength.

One of many things I've learned about my dad through this whole experience is his drive. I've always known that my dad has determination but these are far greater obstacles and he has gone through each one while already stretching for the next goal. I truly believe that this was part of the reason he was able to get through such trauma. As his family, this characteristic is such a gift to us because with each day he continues to improve.

- Barbara

Friday

Northwestern received my dad's blood results today and they found that his liver enzymes are very high. They will be doing an ultrasound on Tuesday morning to look into it further.

I have to be completely honest here, thinking about this makes me weak. It brings things flooding back to the surface . . . the panic, the unknown. And while I cognitively know that we are not sitting in the ICU waiting room, just the thought of a potential speed bump or road block in the recovery makes me feel like I'm right back there.

Please pray for:
Positive results
The enzyme levels to come down
Good communication to us from the medical staff

On a positive note my dad feels really good. Getting better each day in terms of strength and energy. His bedsore has healed which now allows him to sit in chairs and not only have the option of lying on the couch. This does wonders for mental health, I'm sure.

Thanks for your continued support and prayer.

-Barbara