Sandwich.

I'd like to think that I'm too young to be in the "sandwich generation" but often times during the critical days and weeks of my dad's illness, I felt like I needed to be both a mother to my daughter and a daughter to my mother.

There were the quiet and private moments where I would just come home from a day at the hospital and weep. For my fear to hope and my sense of feeling defeated and overwhelmed.

You learn a lot about people in times of crisis. You see both best and worst moments surrounded while on the roller coaster. I'll never forget March 25th. It was the night following the news of my dad's eeg report. Nathan, Sanne and I stayed at the hotel with my mom that night. We left the hospital like zombies, feeling like one foot was in total devestation. That night,we had conversation that I never want to have to face again thinking about the reality of my dad's prognosis. We dug into the deepest parts of our hearts.

And as I sat at that corner booth, facing my mom, I looked at her in a way I never had before. As a wife. As someone who loved her husband with the whole of her heart. I saw that heart breaking. Thinking of what could be her future and loving my dad so much . . . for the little and the big things that make a marriage.

Today is mother's day and I think of my mom today. In words I'm only ready to put down in writing but don't have the strength to say aloud. My mother, during this time of total fear, was

authentic

kind

gracious

faithful

nurturing

scared

and living out her wedding vows with her heart

I am turning thirty this year and a little over two years ago became a mother myself. During this time I have learned much more about my mom through my own experiences. Relating on a different level. Starting to uncover the sacrifices she made to keep me happy and healthy.

My dad is incredibly strong, motivated, faithful, loving. But today, I celebrate my mom. Who has stood by my dad's side. A true testament to me.

Love you, Mom.

- Barbara